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What does it mean when we are scared shitless to do something? Does it mean we are weak? Does it mean we are flawed or less than others? Does it mean we shouldn’t do the thing we are scared to do? Hell no! Being scared means you are human. Therefore, all you people with fingernails chewed down to the nub and butt cheeks clenched with the kind of pressure that creates diamonds, don’t fret. You are in good company.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Come on, Kyle. If I had a dime for every time someone shoehorned one of them-there overused statements, I’d be able to play the dime slot machines for the rest of my life. Can you say, “second hand smoke?” Yuck!
We are all coded to fear
In spite of the cliched phrasing, it’s true. Fear is as human as unplanned pregnancies and social media addiction. Don’t kid yourself. . . you know what I’m talking about.
Whether you like it or not, we are all coded to have fear and worry. They’re those internal circuits we discover somewhere at the cross streets of Sigmund Freud and Charles Darwin. A part of those survival instincts that are embedded deep in the hard drive. And we nifty, little humans consistently sweep our better lives under the proverbial rug by believing it’s clever to run from these emotions and avoid risk at all cost.
Makes sense. Because in our minds, it’s plumb stupid to run, headfirst, into the things that scare the hell out of us. In our primitive, reptilian brains, hightailing it at the first sight of anything that seemingly threatens the order of our tightly woven universe is a function of evolutionary biology. Who are we to go against billions of years of improving, of surviving, of “getting” homo erectus?
And therein lies the bane of human fulfillment.
It’s evolution, homie. Far be it from me to deny my impulses.
Sorta pointless to pursue our life’s dreams if all we are going to do is crap ourselves and run at the first sight of a threat.
Now before we all cash in our dreams for Snuggies and all the binge-worthy TV a person can stand, I want to tell you there is an antidote. What if I told you there is a part of you that wants to stand and fight? What if I told you there is a warrior deep inside you that believes in death before dishonor? A real Brazilian jujitsu blackbelt, with war paint and battle scars and prison tattoos, anxiously waiting to dive into the deep end of danger in order to live your biggest life?
What if, instead of meandering through life controlled by the impulses of the machine inside you, there was, well, more? Something undemanding yet full of life? Something passive yet ready for 10 rounds of whatever-the-hell-comes-your-way? Something fulfilling with incredible upside like an all you can eat buffet with zero calories? If you only face down the fear.
Believe it or not that side of you is truer to who you really are than that frightened person hiding behind “better judgement.” And, believe it or not, you are itching to embrace that side of yourself, to take a leap and catch a fleeting glimpse of what life looks like beyond all the things you are afraid of.
Big cojones are worth rooting for.
Don’t believe me? Then why, deep down inside, do we all watch with jaws agape and unblinking eyes at the risk takers? Why do we marvel at the idea that one of us might just do something impossibly unique and awesome and unthinkable, like the triple lindy of dream chasing? And why do most of us simultaneously root for the brave souls with big cojones while, at the same time, criticize everything they are doing?
It’s because secretly we want to be doing it ourselves. And look, from the cheap seats, or so it seems, we can’t lose. I mean, if they win, then we have a glorious example to gaze upon and cherish for years to come. And if they fail, then, well… we were right; it really is stupid to take risks. And so we watch while our sleeping warrior tosses and turns quietly inside us. Never hearing. Never living. Never knowing what it’s like to face fear and win big!
Get in the car.
Well not me, baby. I have embraced the warrior inside me. I realize I have a job to do, a life to live. LIVE, I say! I have happiness and prosperity and my biggest life waiting for me to discover, out on the horizon, just on the other side of the paralyzing fear and the foolish risk taking. And it is amazing. And it is scary as hell. But nothing else will do.
So watch me now with your mouth agape and your non-blinking eyes and cheer for me as I become that shooting star that you marvel at because I became the one who got away, the one who rose above, the one who conquered fear.
Or better yet . . . come with me. There’s plenty of room in this car.